Reply to Dating with medical issues....when to disclose

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'd be careful dating op and it's not because he's recovering from cancer. He admits to being checked out of his marriage, then when he got cancer, he put his wife through needing to play the loving spouse role.. Whenever someone said "We're so sorry Bill has cancer, he's such a nice man", she wasn't free to say "Our marriage has been bad for years, and I sure wish I could leave". OP has posted before about his cancer and his wife. I'd be concerned that if he treated one woman like he treated his wife, he'd treat others in the same way. The kindest thing for op to have done is to have left his wife, cancer or no (he could have stayed with family during his recovery) and free her to find a relationship. Based on op's previous posts, he had the resources to continue to work two assignments,(recall the post about his wife thinking he was having an affair) and he  was well enough to travel alone out of town (recall his posts about wanting to leave his wife home with his daughter while he took a weekend away by himself). If he could do all that, he could have put some energy into his marriage, or he could have divorced his wife. He chose to use her and her resources indeffinately. It's this trait, not the cancer that would cause me to steer clear. His now ex may not be a saint, but op is hardly a prize.[/quote]

Except the trip was never made.  I did travel for work when healthy.  But, always had other people to help me if needed.

My marriage was not salvageable when the cancer was diagnosed.  My ex and I stayed together not so she could help me, but so the lawyers would not take the assets when it appeared I was going to die anyway.  If I had left, I would have had to move back home, which would have meant giving up my job....I do not have a career that is transportable.  And, I have no other family in the area.

It made sense to wait out the cancer.  From DW's perspective, if I had died, she would have been ahead to the tune of $2 million (life insurance)....[/quote]

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