Reply to I can't talk to my wife about money.

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[quote=Anonymous]We went through something like this.  Dh was resistant to cutting back on spending and when I expressed concern, he likened me to his mom, who was very anxious and controlling.  It got better eventually because 1) we made more money and paid off student debt 2) we moved from far out Virginia to DC where he was happier especially because he could get involved in politics instead of spending his time commuting back and forth (and thank god wasn't passing Potomac Mills every day) and 3) he started hanging out with political friends who lived simply and I think he was embarrassed to have cared so much about expensive things.

He still spends more than I would spend on things but I let it go because we can afford his occasional indulgence and I feel great because we're no longer in debt.  We're doing fine but it took a long time.

All this is to say that it's tough to be the saver when the spender responds as if you were some mean parent trying to control them.  There's a lot of emotional baggage around spending!  I used to wish I was the husband because it seemed easier for my friends who were husbands and savers to shut down family spending.  Now I can see maybe that's not so.  Good luck, OP!
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