Reply to I can't talk to my wife about money.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Be firm and don't let the crying affect you.  Leave the room and tell her you'll discuss again when she has gained her composure.  Do that again if she starts back with the crying.  Show her the numbers.  Maybe she doesn't understand the impact the frivous spending has.  My husnamd doesn't and I have us on a budget. [/quote]

Another woman here.  That's right.  You need to say to her when she begins to cry, "I know this is emotional for you, but we need to keep talking about it.  I will wait until you're done to do so, but we're not dropping this conversation.  I'd like you to help me come up with ways to make this work so that I am happy and you are happy."  One thing that I learned in therapy was to push through the uncomfortable part and stand firm.  Don't lose ground (or be nasty), simply state that it's still something you need to talk about.  You want her to be happy, and you want to help figure out how.  Explain that you're on the same team.  Team family - you both want your kids, your house, your spouse to have nice things, so you have to work together to prioritize what they are.  Also, rethink the 3-4 nights at Whole Foods.  That can be something you help change (make dinner much?), and she can do things to pitch in too.  But if it's a solution you have imposed on her/the family, it's not going to work.  She has to be part of the answer.  She has to get something so she can give some things up.  And if that also means she has to start working again because you both want to keep spending, so be it.  That just may be the uncomfortable truth neither of you want to admit.[/quote]

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