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College and University Discussion
Reply to "College parent helicoptering!"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Over involved, enmeshed parents. They are doing more harm than good to their kids but often they are so caught up due to their own anxiety and own expectations, that they lose sight of what their child aka young adult needs. The kids soon either just pull away or go underground - living one life for parents and one that parents aren't part of.[/quote] Asking questions on an open forum does not necessarily mean that the parents are over involved and enmeshed. Some kids finish high school when they are 17 or even 16 and need parental guidance.[/quote] +1 [b]Those shouting about "helicoptering" are simply projecting their own guilt about not doing enough[/quote][/b] No. This is just wrong. My son has been all over his college class facebook page and I have never seen it. He would be horrified if I started asking questions. And I'm sorry, if your 16 or 17 year old is heading to college, but needs you in there asking fellow classmates questions, your child is not "ready" for college. Just stop.[/quote] Do you at least acknowledge the possibility that your child might be at least a little different form every other child and that your wisdom might not apply to every child?[/quote] All kids are different, but I have to say I don't know any teenager who would be thrilled to have their parents on helicoptering on a facebook page for the Class of 2018 (unless the parents are matriculating that year as well). The kids I know make fun of the stupid questions other [i]kids [/i]ask. I can only imagine the disdain/pity they reserve for those poor kids whose parents show up there. This may not be what you want to hear, but it is, unfortunately, the reality. Parents would be better served getting their kids to ask those questions. Or if they don't want to, letting the kids learn the hard way what they should have asked in advance. None of which would be terminal. [/quote] You actually don't know what "the reality" is for MY child. You really don't. Why is that so hard for you to accept" You grudgingly admit that "all kids are different" but then act as if that is not true by extending the limited sample of "the kids I know" to all kids and suggesting that you know what "the reality" is. Again, you don't. Good luck with your children.[/quote] There is no child for whom it is a good idea for a parent to post on the student facebook page. Period. I cannot imagine an acceptable scenario. You say some kids need extra help? I have a DC with Aspergers who has some social issues (though is doing quite well because of early intervention, has friends, etc . . .). Even for him I would NEVER post a question on the student facebook page. Especially for him because nothing screams "social outcast" like Mom posting on the student facebook page. PP you may think your DC needs some kind of extra help here but your presence only marks him and undermines him. I cannot imagine a reason why a parent would be asking a question of other students. If you need to do that, your child is not ready for college. Consider this, while they are actually there, they will be on their own in terms of asking questions of other students. At least I hope so. A class of 2018 facebook page is just that, a facebook page for students in the class of 2018. Mom, you are not in the class of 2018. You have not been invited to join this group and you do not belong. I would think this would be a no brainer.[/quote]
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