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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Over involved, enmeshed parents. They are doing more harm than good to their kids but often they are so caught up due to their own anxiety and own expectations, that they lose sight of what their child aka young adult needs.

The kids soon either just pull away or go underground - living one life for parents and one that parents aren't part of.[/quote]

Asking questions on an open forum does not necessarily mean that the parents are over involved and enmeshed. Some kids finish high school when they are 17 or even 16 and need parental guidance.[/quote]

Those shouting about "helicoptering" are simply projecting their own guilt about not doing enough[/quote]

This is BS. I am a very involved parent, have helped my DD in various ways through high school and the college process, but helicopter parenting is not healthy and my thinking that has nothing to do with not doing enough for my child. In fact, I posted on the buying college supplies thread that I thought it was perfectly nice and normal for a parent to shop with their child before going to college - spending time with your child does mean it is helicopter parenting. However, posting on an online forum that is specifically intended for the kids is crossing a line that is odd. The OP is describing an online forum that is set up for the kids to interact with each in order to introduce themselves, ask questions and talk about their excitement in going to college. It is NOT meant for parents! Most schools have their own FB page for parents to ask questions. I have been able to find the answers to any question I have through the school's website or a quick email to a representative. There is absolutely no need to be posting with the other kids. I'm sorry, but that's just weird and any normal kid would be (and should be) mortified.

When I was at the parent orientation sessions for my DD's school there was a forum for parents to talk about their anxiety in sending their kids away to school for the first time. To be honest, I thought that part of the program was a bit of a waste of time - of course, we're all anxious and a little bittersweet about the changes that will take place in our family, but I am excited for my DD. This is a fun and exciting time in her life. It is also specifically why I started giving my DD age-appropriate freedoms while at home. I know that she is responsible and has a good sense of what she needs to do. More importantly, she knows what she needs to do if she gets lost, loses something, etc. She has some life experience to fall back on because I made her do things on her own - all at the same time spending plenty of time with her and enjoying her company. Sadly, there were several parents at the orientation who were so anxious and nervous about the idea of their child being on their own that I thought they would have a nervous breakdown - it was really eye-opening to me and, frankly, sad. One woman even admitted to "over-parenting" and was worried because her DD got lost that morning after insisting that she wanted to walk to the orientation on her own from the hotel (the college is in a big city). She realized that her DD really didn't know how to take care of herself because she was never expected to do anything - her mom did everything for her. And it's true - if your kid can't figure out the right direction to walk at the age of 17 or 18 (even 16) then you have not done a good job of teaching your child the necessary skills of life. That may sound harsh, but parents who do everything for their children are NOT setting them up for success later in life.[/quote]

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