Reply to Wives who have cheated: share your story?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was unhappy and overwhelmed. My husband was checked out. He wanted another baby and I kept having miscarriages, the emotional fallout from which he was also checked out of. I started confiding more in a close male friend. We spent more and more time together. We slept together one time, which was basically an accident. I told my husband everything a couple weeks later and we separated, more or less amicably. He did tell everyone what I'd done, and that was hard for a while, but it was several years ago and everything is fine now.

I married the man I had the affair with. We are expecting a child next spring. He and my ex-husband will never be best friends, but they are cordial to each other and often coordinate childcare for my older child because their schedules are flexible and mine isn't. [/quote]

The problem is you not the men [/quote]

Is you husband remarried?  Person, if I could get away with it and was your ex, and would beat your new husband for what he did.[/quote]

He's in a relationship with an awesome woman. I like her and think she's great for him (much better than I ever was, even before I cheated). As for your other remark, I'm glad that my ex-husband is not a violent person. What you describe is assault, and we did what we did together. Should my ex husband violently assault me too? I'm the one who broke a vow to him, after all.

As for the above PP who says that women make excuses instead of taking responsibility, I took responsibility. To my ex. To my friends. To my family. To HIS family. I simply posted what happened and my reasons for doing what I did on this thread, because the prompt was not "wives who cheat, please expound on how fucking sorry you are." I am deeply sorry that I hurt my ex, who is a good person who didn't deserve that pain. I have apologized to him many times and have made every effort in the years since we divorced to treat him with respect and kindness. He was angry with me for a while, but he is the kind of person who doesn't really see the point of holding onto anger and vengeful thoughts. He went to therapy. I went to therapy. We moved on. [/quote]

I think you sound like a good person (and I say this as someone who's spouse cheated on her).  Life isn't perfect, and we all make mistakes.  You did take responsibility for your actions, and you told your spouse about the affair.  I actually hope that my ex and I will develop the type of relationship as co-parents that you have with your ex.  While I would have never chosen this path, my life is actually much better now that we are divorced.  My ex is living with a woman (don't think she was at all responsible for the affair), my son likes his dad's girlfriend, and I am happily on my own and dating.  I can say that if my ex had taken responsibility for his actions right away and told me about things, I would have had much more respect for him.

Don't let the haters in this thread make you feel bad.  While I don't condone the cheating, I do respect how you have handled the aftermath.  And -- I really appreciate your sharing on this thread.[/quote]

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