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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He did not tell me he was a virgin and actually uses that against me.

What crushes me it's affected my life so much.  The past year and a half has been nothing but paps and colpos and waiting on results and taking time off work and crying when I [i]still [/i]haven't cleared it.  Meanwhile he goes about his business like nothing is wrong.  He doesn't take time off work for colpos with me and doesn't hold me when I cry over the results.  That's why I'm so angry at him.  The counselor said he probably feels guilty and is avoiding the situation but why can't he man up then and support me?

And my chances of carrying a pregnancy to term are not good now and won't ever be, even if I clear it because of the damage to my cervix.[/quote]

Is he fully aware of the seriousness? He maybe be hearing "pre-cancer" and thinking, "OK, so it's not cancer, no big deal."

It also sounds like he's probably someone who isn't very comfortable with a lot of emotional expression. If you are crying your way through most of your conversations about what's going on, he may be tuning you out. (I'm not blaming you -- that's pretty shitty of him.)

See if you can get him to come to an appointment with the gynecologic oncologist. If a doctor explains the actual risks and potential impact to your fertility in a clinical manner, it might sink in a little better.

In the meantime, you need to let go of the the fact that he wasn't a virgin when you married him. The CDC says, "HPV is so common that most sexually-active men and women will get at least one type of HPV at some point in their lives." It's a terrible thing that you happen to have a particularly nasty strain, but it doesn't make him (or you) soiled goods.

tl;dr: Make sure he's fully informed, call him on his unsupportive behavior, and let him off the hook for the HPV.[/quote]

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