Reply to Estranged Father now a Grandfather

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Leave him alone if you do not know the full story.  [b]My husband's ex told his kids he was a deadbeat and not interested.  She ruined their relationship by not allowing visits.  [/b]The only contact was if the child support check was a day late (garnishment depending on the job so nothing he could do anyway) or to demand more money.  She cheated on him and left him for the boyfriend.  The kids think he cheated on her.  Its lovely to say the least.  My husband has a distant relationship with his youngest.  He tries and tries with the kids and they refuse (now it is more the girlfriend than the kid) and  one just had a kid.  They could contact us for money and gifts but when he calls or emails they refuse to answer except for when they want something.  He wishes he would have never reinitiated contact as its just too painful.  If you have not wanted him in your life this long, why start now?[/quote]

BS. He could have gotten a court order to see his kids, but DIDN'T, so HE WAS ACTING like a dead beat dad by not being there. The kids were not being brainwashed. Your DH should have stepped up and done the right thing for the sake of his kids. [/quote]

It doesn't always work that way.  My coworker has been trying to see his 17 year old daughter since she was 13. She refuses and her mom does not force her to see him.  He calls, he emails, he sends certified letters.  She has blocked his number on her cell.  She hangs up when he alls the house.  Short of physically ambushing her, there is nothing more he can do. He has been to court numerous times to force compliance with visitation, ask for mandatory family therapy, etc, and nothing happens.  In fact, at the last custody hearing the judge basically removed the visitation requirement entirely and said it is up to the daughter but that the mother must not inhibit contact in any way.  Of course the mother has told her all sorts of really toxic information -- some of it true, such as that he had an emotional affair before the divorce -- but it's stuff that no kid should know.  He does still see his son regularly and in fact won more custody of his son.

So it's not always true that a court is going to force something, especially with a teen.  [/quote]

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