Reply to Dad's 75th birthday--dilemma

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Since you said it's a beautiful place, I like the idea of you showing up for a few dinners etc and having your DH babysit--and be sure that the whole family shows up for that photo-op that your dad or your step-mom want, so they can say their grandkids are here (or to introduce the grandkids at the academic part--you and the kids don't have to STAY after the intro!)

So your gift is, besides all the time and $$ getting there, is letting them look like the involved grandparents that they may or may not be.  The gift does NOT include actually sitting through these events.  Use your newfound ample free time to explore the city with the kids, or let them play at the hotel pool.

I'd also warn them in advance about your limits so you don't have to deal with either of them trying to make you stay at any event, or go to an event you don't want to go to.  Sounds like since the step-mom is the one ready with the guilt trip, that she's the one you'll need to talk to.  If you talk to your dad and he relays it to her, it will be all watered down and she'll be pissy.[/quote]

Go. Consult with your dad and step-mom on which are their top events for you to attend, and when would be best for the grandkids to make a brief appearance (lunch?). Warn them that with the time change, the kids might be a bit off their games.

The only thing I would add, is if your mom or DH's family is close by, would they be willing to babysit for at least one night so you and DH could both enjoy a dinner?[/quote]

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