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[quote=Anonymous]Wow....I feel so sorry for you OP. My mom is the exact same way. She was verbally (and sometimes physically) abusive to me my entire life. She would get great joy out of humiliating me in public and often made me feel like I was nothing. She was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and possibly borderline too (however I was not really dealing with her when the latter diagnosis was being considered). I tolerated her behavior as a child because I had to and cont to accept it as a young adult because family and friends told me I had to forgive and keep her in my life no matter what since she was my mother. The result of that was years of agony and low self-esteem and an overwhelming sense of obligation to her. She always said things like "i gave up my own life to take care of you" or "if you move out you'll just end up back here because you can't make it without me..nobody cares about you" and sadly, I believed her, but I still knew it was wrong for her to treat me that way. I finally got fed up and moved out on my own (at 22) and even then she would degrade me, curse at me, steal from me and insist that I help her pay her bills...I tolerated it because she was my mom and so many people had convinced me that I just had to deal with it, so I did. When I had kids (late 20's- mid 30's) I noticed how they would pick up on her negative behavior toward me and model it, she would also undermine my authority with them and tell them to lie to me. Well...for me, that was the last straw. I cut her off completely and didn't care what anyone thought about it...I told my family and friends about my decision and let them know that they would be dismissed too if they gave me any grief about cutting her off, but surprisingly, no one did. As a result of me severing ties with her, she made a fraudulent call to CPS to report we were abusing our kids..that led to a full investigation, home visits and court hearings...all of which caused me so much stress. That behavior only confirmed that I made the right decision. I just turned 40 and life without her is amazing..I'm so much happier with her and I can honestly say that if I never saw her again it would be fine with me.

You do not deserve or have to accept abuse OP....not even from your mother. My worst regret in life is not cutting her off 20 years soon than I did. I can't begin to imagine all the happiness I missed out on because I allowed her to remain in my life. Our society has an incredibly sympathetic and forgiving attitude towards mothers whether they deserve it or not....my mother certainly didn't deserve it and it sounds like you mother doesn't either. Please think of yourself and your husband/kids and how dealing with your mother may sour your attitude and further break your spirit (even allowing her to do this for a few more minutes is a tragedy).

Good luck[/quote]

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