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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We are estranged from DH's brother.  I am fairly certain he has anti-social personality disorder (a psychologist friend offered that tentative diagnosis based on my descriptions of his behavior. - I was not seeking a diagnosis, it was spontaneously offered as I tried to give a fair recounting of circumstances).   There was a huge blow up at a family beach vacation 5 years ago and be has not been back since.  He lives half way across the country.  He was around the east coast 18 months ago and tried through FIL to get us to allow him over and DH said no.  I was paranoid for some time after that that he would just show up at our house and I actually kept driving once when I saw someone that from a distance looked like him near our home.

I put years into trying to advocate that DH give him a chance when he was younger.  I finally figured out it was not something he was going to grow out of.  I was a large piece of the blow up because I reached the end of my rope.  I am incredibly sad for his parents, they still are hopeful that there will be a reconciliation someday.  I think the odds are better that I will win powerball.

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Obviously a diagnosis based on one person's view of another is worthless. Why would you not allow him in your home if he was reaching out to you and your DH? Maybe your DH is the problem.[/quote]

I don't tell people IRL that he has this disorder, but his behavior fits the characteristics well.  No, it is not DH, BIL is toxic and I think potentially dangerous.  I don't want him in my home, I would not leave him alone with my kids.  He hates me and does not hide it.  Believe it or not I am am a kind person that gives everyone the benefit of the doubt.  He wore his way through that over years.  We are done.

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