Reply to separation/divorce, custody & fairness

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[quote=Anonymous]He's arguing that paying the guidelines amount + 0 alimony to you, while he benefitted from you SAH so he could advance in his career, not deal with school closings, sick days, etc being nasty?

It sounds to me like there is a serious imbalance in your relationship and he's taking advantage of that. The guidelines are the guidelines for everyone unless you agree to more. The support is for the KIDS not you. You have to look out for their best interests. Right now they are loving with you full time, you are making a fraction of his salary, and you are supporting them on savings. That is not sustainable. FWIW the guidelines don't even take savings into account. They are based on cash flow and expenses.

I highly suggest a consult with an attorney. You can still do mediation but you really need advice to help you look out for yourself and your kids' best interests.

If he is choosing to live in a where they can't stay in lieu of 50/50, I would not count on that changing in a few years. It might but the fact that he can afford to have a place allowing 50/50 but chooses not to says so,etching. It could be that he is so used to you carrying most of the parenting load that he plans to keep things that way.

FWIW I make more than twice as much as my ex and have 100% custody. Initially I didn't insist on support at all when we separated because of the income differential. I quickly realized that supporting us on just my salary was making things very tight financially and that wasn't to my kids benefit. Also, I noticed that he had tons of free time and discretionary income while I was severely crunched on both time and money.

He pays support now. What I'm saying is, I started out where you are now so I get it. You don't want to look like the greedy ex wife, and you don't want everyone to think you are taking advantage of him. Don't worry about that. Right now he is taking advantage of you. Just go with what the guidelines say, and if he says it's not fair refer him to the guidelines. He should consider himself lucky if you don't seek alimony. You probably could get it temporarily if you tried. [/quote]

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