Reply to Why must you of hurt each other in the past to have a "strong" relationship?

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Reply to "Why must you of hurt each other in the past to have a "strong" relationship?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, one day, something bad will happen to you, and those are the friends who will have the experience with overcoming hardships and the compassion to be sympathetic and possibly helpful to you. You seem to lack compassion, perhaps because you haven't had enough experiences yet in life. [/quote]

This is the OP. Quite an assumption, and an incorrect one at that. I have been through more than some will see in a lifetime - maybe that's why I have lower tolerance for stupidity?

But to your point, I dumped my ex boyfriend because he exhibited abusive and hurtful behavior. Should I have stayed with him to prove the strength of our love for one another? I very easily could have but I didn't - thankfully - because I'm now very happily married and I shudder to think that my ex could have been 'the one'. [/quote]

Okay, OP. I was trying to be charitable towards you, because [b]you sound naive[/b]. That often makes people lack compassion for others, and it's excusable. Then again, some [b]people get through life by telling themselves it's kick or be kicked, and think everything bad that happens to others is that person's fault and due to that person's weakness. [/b]If this helps you feel stronger and in control, fine, but don't be surprised that people find your attitude cold and arrogant.[/quote]

Actually, OP sounds quite mature. Sometimes it is black and white: kick or be kicked. Some of us are smart enough to see the signs and end it. Others are naive and miss the signs. If someone is abusive once, shame on them, if they continue to be abusive, then quite frankly, it is your fault for staying in the relationship. That doesn't excuse the abuser's behavior, but actively playing the victim doesn't make you a strong person. It makes you too weak to stand up for yourself.

-Daughter who ended her mother's abuse by standing up for her. And guess what? I knew better than to get in that same situation.

[/quote]

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