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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Father--called me up a few days after a family gathering and out of a so-called sense of concern for my 2 year old went on a tirade about everything that I was doing wrong in my life including raising my kid wrong, continuing to work, owning pets that live inside the house and other random complaints.  He went on for 30 minutes and I was aghast as I had never seen or heard this level of judgment from him--there was no holding back once he got going.  I was bowled over--I'm not a kid--I'm a 40 something Ph. D in a successful marriage with a good life and a nice house. This was four years ago and when I saw him a few months ago at another family gathering he made it clear that he had no intention of apologizing.  Since I won't just brush that conversation under the rug (the preferred way of dealing with conflict in my family) there's nothing to say. I won't be bullied.  If he apologized tomorrow all would be forgiven.[/quote]

I am in the same situation.  My drug addict father called me after he blew us all off at a family gathering so he could get high and then take a nap.  He then calls me telling me that I have an anger management problem and desperately need help (what?).  I was 8 months pregnant at the time too.  I was so upset (crying not angry) about the whole thing that days later I couldn't help but break down in front of my OB.  She assured me that I did not have an anger management problem, and maybe I should not speak to my father for the time being as I was super pregnant.  I haven't spoken to him since and he's never met my daughter.  He emailed once to say he's still waiting for an apology (I responded, I don't need help for a nonexisitent anger management problem, but you need help for your drug problem).

Honestly, he's a drug addict, won't change, my mom's an enabler, and I don't want my kids around him.  Sad, but we don't get to pick our parents. He made sure neither one of my siblings will talk to me (behind his back for years we talked about having an intervention, now he is their problem).  Every single person (friend and family) no longer talks to my drug addict dad and enabling mother and siblings. So basically, aside from short, occasional phone calls to my mom, I am estranged from my immediate family and they are estranged from everyone else.[/quote]

This is pretty much exactly what happened with my mother, who also had a drug problem.  She couldn't get it under control and I became estranged from her. She ensured that the rest of the family was estranged from me and wouldn't talk to me. Good times.

She died 4 years ago.  I am still estranged from the family.  It was still the right decision to make. I won't have that junkie BS around my kids. [/quote]

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