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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I have a very similar relationship to my mother.  I have gone through various phases with how I feel about and treat her.  In my case, my mother is very dumb, I have really never met anyone quite like her.  I find it frustrating and embarrassing, so much so that I used to get angry with her and treat her in a very mean way when she did something stupid in public because I was worried that people would think I was like her if I was kind and supportive.  I eventually realized that getting angry with her only made me  look worse and drew additional attention to the situation.  I think the best way to approach it is with kindness.  BUT, that's easier said than done.  It's a work in progress and I still get angry with her, but I'm trying.  For instance, on her last visit we were in a communal area in my building and she was talking about the movie 12 Years as a Slave.  She asked me a silly question about it, something to the effect of "was it real" or not.  I felt very embarrassed because she was making racially ignorant comments in front of a very smartly dressed AA woman passing by and my friend who is of Peruvian descent.  I got very angry and told her she was a racist because in no way did I want to others to think that I shared her bigoted views.  I made her cry and she nearly flew home the next day.  In retrospect it just wasn't worth the anger, the energy, and the hurt feelings.  She's dumb.  I just have to ignore what she says and hope she doesn't offend someone when we're together.  I don't know if that helps but mostly I just want you to know that you're not alone.  It is very difficult with moms like ours.[/quote]

OK, I am a dumb mother myself.  I pray that my children are never as ... socially challenged as you.  The Peruvians know much more about honoring parents than you do.  Your mothers love you.  Please try to be grateful that you even have one.[/quote]

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