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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I have a very similar relationship to my mother.  I have gone through various phases with how I feel about and treat her.  In my case, my mother is very dumb, I have really never met anyone quite like her.  I find it frustrating and embarrassing, so much so that I used to get angry with her and treat her in a very mean way when she did something stupid in public because I was worried that people would think I was like her if I was kind and supportive.  I eventually realized that getting angry with her only made me  look worse and drew additional attention to the situation.  I think the best way to approach it is with kindness.  BUT, that's easier said than done.  It's a work in progress and I still get angry with her, but I'm trying.  For instance, on her last visit we were in a communal area in my building and she was talking about the movie 12 Years as a Slave.  She asked me a silly question about it, something to the effect of "was it real" or not.  I felt very embarrassed because she was making racially ignorant comments in front of a very smartly dressed AA woman passing by and my friend who is of Peruvian descent.  I got very angry and told her she was a racist because in no way did I want to others to think that I shared her bigoted views.  I made her cry and she nearly flew home the next day.  In retrospect it just wasn't worth the anger, the energy, and the hurt feelings.  She's dumb.  I just have to ignore what she says and hope she doesn't offend someone when we're together.  I don't know if that helps but mostly I just want you to know that you're not alone.  It is very difficult with moms like ours.[/quote]

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