Reply to How long would you leave a 9 year old home alone?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Depends:

1) how mature is he/she?

2) do they understand to never answer the door to strangers?

3) Can they fend for themselves  - snacks etc?

4) do you trust your neighbors?

And yes, time of day does matter to me at least. also 2 hours might be pushing it even if answers to 1-4 are YES.  I would not go over one hour.  again this is my personal opinion.

[/quote]

I agree that the things the PP mentions are all important factors in making this decision. I disagree, however, that 2 hours is necessarily too long, depending on the situation. If you trust your child to follow the safety rules,make sure s/he knows what to do in case of an emergency & have either some neighbors nearby that s/he can go to or another trusted adult that will close enough to be there quickly if s/he needs something, I think it would be okay as long as the child is not afraid of staying home alone (I wouldn't leave your DC home alone at night at this age bc it's more likely s/he would end up being scared even if s/he didn't think it would be). As a PP mentioned, I also wouldn't start out by leaving your DC home for 2 hours if s/he has never been home alone before. I'd test it out first by leaving your DC home for 15-30 minutes a few times, then maybe for an hour a few times. If everything goes well those times, then you & your DC will both likely feel a lot more confident & considerably less anxious the first time your DC is alone for a couple of hours.  I'd also have a discussion before you leave about how your DC will be occupying him/herself while your gone. It doesn't have to be too specific or rigid (i.e. "from 3-3:15 I'll have 2 cookies for a snack, from 3:15-4:30 I'll read, from 4:30-until you come home I'll play video games ) but I'd work w/ your DC to come up w/ a list of safe activities s/he will choose from while you're gone (read, draw, have a snack that doesn't require use of the stove, watch tv or play video games for x amount of time, etc.) after your DC has finished doing whatever (if anything) s/he is  required to do during this time (homework, practice the piano, chores, etc. ). Having a better idea of what s/he is going to be doing while alone will also likely decrease your anxiety while out. Plus, it makes it less likely that your DC will decide to engage in an activity that s/he might not even be aware is something you don't feel comfortable w/ him or her doing w/out an adult in the house as can be hard to cover every single possible activity & weather or not it's permissible while you're gone when setting the ground rules w/ your DC.

FWIW, I was home alone for a couple of hours every day after school starting at age 9. I felt perfectly safe & always followed the rules my parents set (well, I sometimes ate a couple more cookies than my mother would have allowed had she been home but that's about it  :) ). I didn't particularly LIKE coming home to an empty house every day, however, at that age as I wasn't used to being alone so much (I started to enjoy it & find having some alone time after a busy day at school kind of nice around the time I started middle school). With that in mind, if this is going to be an every day thing, I would try to arrange for your child to participate in some kind of after school program at least a couple days a week.If no program is available or you can't afford one, I'd suggest talking to some of his friends' parents & seeing if 2 or 3 of them would each be willing to have your DC over after school once a week so he wouldn't get too lonely as a result of being by himself every day after school. You could reciprocate by having their children play at your house for a few hours on the weekends or, if a play date every weekend is too much for the kids or family --either yours or theirs -- bc of other activities/commitments, you can offer to host the kids' sleepovers at your house, take  kids to a movie or other fun activity --your treat--a couple of times a month when you're taking your own child, etc. Being home alone a couple of hours every single week day is a lot for a kid that age, no matter how mature or responsible. Depending on the child, it might be perfectly safe but it's still, IMO based on my own experience at that age, more time alone than is probably healthy for most 9-year-olds.[/quote]

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