Reply to How to tell parents how I really feel?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow. Lot of unhelpful comments here.  I understand where you are coming from. My parents are immigrants and totally not sophisticated. No retirement, hell we grew up without health insurance and I got lucky and got basically a free ride for college. I have law school debt but my parents are basically totally dependent on their kids as they age. Luckily for me, they live in a reasonably high real estate market - bought for $90,000 in 1980 and still have a mortgage, but they could maybe sell for $500,000 today. And, I have two brothers so I don't shoulder all the burden.

[b]That said, I understand the world you are stuck in oP and I don't think you are being selfish or demanding anything.  You need to explain to your parents how hard the travel back and forth is and how it will only get harder as the kids get older. If they aren't willing or able to move closer, they need to have some kind of home health care lined up for WHEN (not IF) the situation arises. Planning now jointly for what will happen in the next 10-15 years is critixal.[/quote][/b]

This is good stuff, OP. I think you should just lay it out. They can make the choice to stay out there, but they will do it knowing that you won't be able to provide support, as you can't make the drive. 
Also, have you really explored the housing situation? If they've owned that house for a while, they should be able to sell is and move closer to you, if they significantly downside. (I'm talking no-frills one-bedroom type thing.)
Many, MANY people in your parent's generation have not planned for their final years (not just immigrants!) Ultimately, you can have a frank conversation, lay out possible options, explain how you can and can't assist, and then it's over to them. If they choose not to make realistic plans, you need to let go of any guilt about the situation.

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