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[quote=Anonymous][quote]I have a question for you OP.

Is your nanny Hispanic/Latino? Reason being is that culturally, these groups tend to view illness in a different manner than us Americans. They tend to look down on illness...Even see it as a sign of weakness.

That may be why your nanny is being so casual about this, she may not want you to think she is weak + incapable because who really wants to be viewed in such a light?

[b]If I were you, I would be direct w/her. This is a very important issue and not one you can sweep under the rug. If your nanny has cancer AND is going to go through treatment for it, then she needs to inform you. If she is going to go through chemotherapy and/or radiation, then she will be in no shape to care for your children, she will be hardly capable of caring for herself. [/b]

Stress this to her and let her know in no uncertain terms does any of this mean that you think any less of her. Having cancer does not make her incompetent or less valuable.

But if she is ill, she needs to take care of herself FIRST. Tell her you fully understand that + will support her as she undergoes treatment. Let her know if and when she returns, you will gladly give her back her position.[/quote]

I'm a cancer patient presently undergoing chemo.

The only issue I have with the quoted is the bolded part. No, she doesn't need to inform you. You have no legal right to know and she has no obligation to disclose. Of course, you want to have the kind of employer/employee relationship where she is comfortable disclosing to you without fear of losing her job, but it is paramount that you understand that whatever she shares with you is a privilege, not your right to know. You do have the right to know she can do her job, and since she has chosen to share some information with you, discussing with her how you both should handle a situation where she cannot perform her job (IF she cannot perform her job) is responsible on both your parts and, I guarantee, something she is already thinking about.

The other issue I have with the bolded is the assumption that she "will be in no shape to care for your children." There is no way to know this, and frankly, it is assumptions like these that drive cancer patients to keep the diagnosis a secret. Many people tolerate chemo very well. Depending on the treatment, it can be somewhat predictable when one might be sick and need to be off work. Personally, I have worked through three chemo protocols and missed very few work days. On infusion weeks, I plan my clinic visits such that it is the weekend when I deal with the worst of the side effects. Occasionally, yes, I have contracted an infection or had another setback, but for the most part, until I lost all my hair, my coworkers had no idea what I was going through.

I wouldn't concentrate too much and the specifics of her diagnosis and whether she is getting "preventative chemo" or whatever. I'm willing to bet she isn't telling you everything for whatever reason. It doesn't really matter. The only thing that really matters is how to work out her job and her treatments.

I'm sorry this post is getting so long. For the tl;dr peeps, I'll end with a summary.

You don't have the right to know the details of your nanny's diagnosis, but, if you are invested in this nanny and want to work with her during this challenging time, use what she has already shred to open a conversation about what she may need and how you both might handle complications. Don't assume she won't be able to work. Ask her how you will both handle the possibility should it arise. Ask yourself and your family how flexible you will be able to be IF there are complications. Decide how valuable this nanny is to your family and how far you are willing to go to retain her. If you have little flexibility or few options, you need to discuss this with your nanny. No one wants to be fired while ill with no idea that the family simply can't accommodate them. If you choose to go forward, let her lead regarding communication about her situation.

Yikes, this is really long. Sorry, OP! [/quote]

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