Reply to What is the DEAL with my FIL?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Passive aggressive doesn't mean what you think it means. Don't count on FIL to know when you want help. [/quote]

I don't think he is passive aggressive - I never said that.  I just think it is very odd to see a person struggling right in front of you and not have the instinct to offer to help.[/quote] You did call him passive aggressive in your OP. Perhaps in error.[/quote]

Oh you're right! That was in relation to the window thing - I should clarify it is a lake house cabin (doesn't even have AC), perfect weather, with a screen. He could have asked me to close it, or let me know he had?

I definitely don't expect him to get knee deep in a poopy diaper or pull my three year old's pants down! I was thinking more just saying "hey can I grab the towels?" Or "can I get [DH] for you?"

The example about him not helping his wide in the kitchen may be the most indicative..[/quote]

BUT YOU could have asked him to open the window or let him know you opened it. YET you except him to ask, tell you. You my dear are crazy.[/quote]

What? Not OP but she should ask permission to open a cabin window in a room she's staying in when there is no air conditioning to worry about?

I agree with pp that it is likely a personality issue/disorder that is so ingrained it will never change. You say he isn't a cruel person so I think you just chalk it up to an in law quirk and learn to live with it![/quote]

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