Reply to What is the DEAL with my FIL?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you sound high maintenance. It is rude to roll down a car window without checking with the other people in the car. It is rude and wasteful to open a window when the heat or air conditioning is running.

You and your DH only have 2 kids--there should not be mass chaos requiring you, DH, your MIL and your FIL's help just to get out the door. You sound super annoying. [/quote]

OP here - yeah, I knew it was hard to explain.  I can see how it seems that way from the post.

There was no heat or AC on in the house when I opened the window.  You'd go into a guest's room and close a window a guest had opened?  You'd roll up a car window if someone riding in the back needed a little air?

I didn't say we always need help getting out the door.  But if you see a person trying to wrangle two little kids, one of whom is crying, and you were sitting in a chair two feet away, you wouldn't offer to help?

What if your wife was trying to keep a bunch of dishes going on the stove, hold the fridge door open with her foot etc - you don't think it is common courtesy to offer to help?

I asked DH if he though that, when FIL was working, he'd have offered to help a co-worker who was obviously struggling with a heavy box right in front of him.  He said he wasn't sure.

When we were staying with family friends of theirs, the wife DREADS him coming (she confided in me) because he is such a terrible houseguest - roots through their food, parks on the couch with no offer to help, etc.  Last time he brought an open cup of soda in their car, filled to the brim, and proceeded to (accidentally) spill it all over the car and didn't offer to clean it up.

DH and his sister are worried about how bad it's become, because it'll only get worse as he gets older.  It's definitely an old dog new tricks thing, but it's to the point where it's disrupting their family dynamic.

I'm by no means perfect but I'm actually not the one who has the majority of the issues with him - they're very obvious to most who spend time around him.  It's hard to explain online, perhaps?

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