Reply to My in-laws refuse to speak English in my present

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]To those who are saying it is wrong to ask the in-laws to speak a common language- are you serious?! What is op expected to do- just sit there and be ignored the whole time?! What a ridiculous concept. I would start implementing a rule that if a common language is not used then the op's presence isn't wanted or needed so she simply won't be around them. And any children are an extention of her. [/quote]
So when you marry into a family, you now have the right to tell them that in their home, in their family they now have to speak their second language or whatever common language just to accommodate you? And you want to lay down the law about it.
"Honey, I know that your 80 yr old parents and 25 cousins are all native Farsi speakers and that is you all primarily communicate in this PRE-EXISTING family, but there is a new sheriff in town and I say their comfort be damned, you speak MY language or I am taking all my marbles( honey you are the marbles) home !" 
[/quote]

Your example is bullshit.  If your ILs are accustomed to going on racist rants, you should just listen to it because it's their home, their family, their culture?  The language issue isn't any different.  It's about making someone feel comfortable and welcome - whether it's in their home or anywhere else.  I've spent a lot of time in Africa where people speak at least 3 local dialects languages.  When greeting someone from another tribe, you spoke to the person in their language and they replied back in your language - to show respect.  To converse in a language you knew someone couldn't understand, and you had the capability of speaking a common tongue, would have been unforgivably rude.  You are literally telling that person you don't want them there.

I don't know what you're point about a 'PRE-EXISTING' family is.  Families are static, they're dynamic.  If you're not willing to welcome someone into your home, don't be surprised if they don't allow their kids to come.[/quote]
Africa is a continent containing many countries. Who said anything about racist rants, who?
The point was not making it a zero sum game. OP needs to make it less about, do this or else and use a lite more savvy and finesse to make them
Feel mor comfortable and inclusive. Maybe learn a little Cantonese. But to say make your family do what I want is the number one way NOT to get it.
By the way pp, you sound unhinged.[/quote]

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