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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's just a sign of the selfishness and "me" culture of today. Weddings are supposed to be celebrations of union that you host for your family and friends, not a fete spotlighting the bridezilla. Sometime in the past 10 years or so, Americans have lost sight of that and now it's all "me, me, me!" at weddings -- god forbid a family member is not old enough to be "up to snuff," they will be disinvited.

It's really sad, but whatever. I am lucky that I don't have any friends who are horrible narcissists. I just skip weddings of relatives who have done this. Clearly my family's presence doesn't matter to them, as long as enough people show up that they can be the center of attention, I can't imagine they even care.[/quote]

You are dense.  An 18 month old toddler isn't "celebrating" the marriage  because he doesnt know what the hell that means.  A six year old left to her own devices would "celebrate the union" with a homemade glitter and sticker card -- so she doesn't need to attend, either.

There are different varieties of celebrations, did you know this?   On the flip side, I would find it  very odd if my turning-21-yr-old son decided to invite his 85 year old grandparents and even older great aunts and uncles to binge drink with him and play beer pong at his 21st birthday party.  My law partners don't belong at my daughter's first communion.  
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So what do you do with your toddler when they aren't invited and the wedding is out of town? What if you're in the wedding? This is happening to us. We have no local family to watch our toddler. The weddings aren't in a hotel where we can leave them with a sitter (if I even felt comfortable doing that with a complete stranger in a different town anyway) and the reception is in the evening so my toddler would either be a mess up until 11pm or I'd have to skip most of the reception.[b] I just don't think the couple understand how miserable this whole weekend is going to be for everyone with small children[/b]. They're in their 30s too so it's not like we're their only friends with kids.[/quote]

Look, if it's too much of burden for you,  then decline the invitation. You seriously can't expect the couple to change the time or location of their wedding because your toddler can't stay up late or that you have no local family to babysit. Stop making this a big drama and bemoaning the fact that this wedding doesn't work with YOUR family's schedule. Just decline. [b]It doesn't make you a bad person[/b], nor does it make the couple bad for planning a wedding they want. [/quote]
It does, actually. Or at least it's a slight to the couple and I would love to celebrate their union with them. My spouse is in the wedding and I'm marginally involved. I haven't made it about me in any way. I haven't said anything to anyone. I just have a hard time understanding why people plan a destination wedding and then say no kids when they have many friends and family with young children. When we got married we went out of our way to ensure it was as convenient as possible for as many people as possible. Did I want a fabulous destination outdoor wedding? Yes. Was it more important for me that everyone be able to have a nice, convenient, affordable trip outside of our wedding? Yes. I get it. I really do, but I'm stressed trying to figure out what to do and some help —babysitting coordination isn't that hard to put together when you're already planning a wedding— or acknowledgement of our situation would be appreciated. Out of context, it may seem I'm being selfish, and maybe I am (though in private feelings alone) but this couple has already been kind of gift-grabby with multiple parties and showers, destination bachelor party, and registry info on the invitation, so it's hitting me hard because I'd really just like to go and have a good time. [/quote]

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