Reply to Mil drama- now she told dh to leave me

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[quote=Anonymous]
OP,

The truth is, if you can't be a team with DH against all and sundry, then you might be better off divorcing. You can't win if your spouse takes his parents' side against you!

So, is it salvageable? What is DH prepared to do? 
If he can but agree to let you run the heavy artillery and put your foot down against MIL, then it's still fine. You'll be the bad cop, but you'll get your way. If he can elevate his efforts to actually speaking up and enforcing boundaries himself, then even better. But he has to put his nuclear family first at all events.

I would go to a therapist with DH to help him understand why and how to draw boundaries with his parents. It will also be a forum where you can discuss sensitive things with a neutral third-party. Crucial in every way.

Personal perspective: I can totally see my mother doing what your MIL did. Actually she has told me I need to leave DH! My solution is to limit contact and non-critical information. When we do visit, DH and I have a NATO-like mutual defense agreement! We back each other up whenever my mother attacks any of us, or the children. It's the only way to survive such an obnoxious family member.

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