Reply to Teen and Custody Arrangment

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't know the situation, but did your ex always live out of the country?  If he chose to take a job that took him so far away from his daughter, perhaps he needs to reconsider.  At a certain point, she will really resent going away from home every summer.  He may also need to make accommodations to come and spend time with her -- closer to her home.

On the other hand, if you moved back to the US from another country and moved DD away from her dad -- then I think you need to make more of an effort to ensure that she gets back to see her dad. Maybe as she gets older she could ask a friend to accompany her for part of the visit to her father's country.[/quote]

OP here.  I am a foreign - born naturalized U.S. citizen.  My ex is a Foreign Service Officer. I would say what led to the divorce were the demands of the Foreign Service lifestyle on the marriage and, specifically, on my ability to have a normal, professional career.  During the course of the marriage, my exDH did two unaccompanied tours - leaving me here first with a small child and again later with a pre-teen.  I decided not to go on the second tour - I could have  - so that I could pursue my own professional development.

We decided in the end that we were both very unhappy and that the marriage was not working out.  DD has been very angry over the divorce for some time. She does blame her Dad, perhaps b/c in my emotional states I have blamed him for "leaving us."  It may not be fair, but it is how I feel.

He is at the stage with retirement, etc. that it does not make sense for him to get another job.  He has, at best, two more foreign tours before retirement and college to help pay for. So, I don't think it reasonable for him to find a job "closer to DD" for just the few years before college.  He did try to get a DC assignment, but in the end it did not work out.  So, he will be off to Europe after language training.

He did, in fact, try to make the case that DD would be served well to complete HS in Europe as that would put her at a competitive advantage when applying to U.S. colleges.  Plus, it would be great for her to travel around Europe.  If she is not attending school there, I think she at least avail herself of the opportunity to travel and work abroad whiel it is still affordable.  I just cannot prevail.  [/quote]

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