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[quote=Anonymous]It sounds a little like you might be forcing the issue.  It's hard to know without knowing the whole story, but I get the sense that there's some kind of conflict between the two of you based on this subject.  So, maybe he's pushing your buttons because he knows it's a hot topic for you.  Or, maybe you are subconsciously pushing him too hard to show appreciation because you've felt he didn't in the past.  Take a step back and see if you can think of any specific reasons for this type of thing.

I think gratitude is a difficult thing to "teach."  It has to be absorbed and learned over a long period of time.  And very few teenagers or pre-teens have or show much of it.  Even if they feel it, they probably aren't going to SHOW it to an adult most of the time.

It seems like your DS was upset about having to turn off the TV and go to sleep and knew that complaining about birthday gifts might irritate you, which is why he did it.  How do you response when he does this?

Honestly, I think gratitude is about a lot more than words.  It's not okay for him to show a lack of gratitude in front of the person who gave him the gift, but if he wants to share his feelings with you later, you can offer to be a sympathetic ear and just keep being positive.

Yes, it'd be ideal if you could show him how the "other half" lives, and I think taking steps in this direction would be good, but he's not going to "get it" suddenly like this.  It's going to take time and something that makes him connect to this in a real way.  Maybe look for opportunities for him too work with kids his own age or to "buddy" a younger kid who hasn't had the advantages he's had.  If he sees things from a kid's perspective and gets to know someone in a different life circumstance, it will mean a lot more than dishing out soup to homeless adults or sorting canned goods at a food pantry.[/quote]

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