Reply to Getting seperated...what is fair?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What PPs have said. I'm not surprised he doesn't want you to have a real lawyer of your own. I'd laugh if it weren't so horrible.

He is not looking out for your best interests or your kids' best interest. He is looking out for himself.

You are obviously a bit... trusting... about financials. That's okay, a lot of women are. But it has to stop now. You cannot trust anything he says. You need professional help. YOU NEED A LAWYER.

If you can't do it for yourself, do it for your children. They deserve proper child support -- even if you're not willing to fight for the alimony you're clearly owed, fight for them. [/quote]

+1. And you should fight for the alimony, too, because in the end it's really all money for you and the kids together. Because whatever shortfall exists will need to made up somehow or done without - while living in very diminished circumstances.

Alimony isn't charity. It's recognition that you've been holding up your end of your marriage's bargain, which is that you would stay home and raise the kids - unpaid but very real work. If it helps, consider it payment for your years of unpaid contributions, a supplement to your reduced earning power due to being out of the workforce, and assistance urgently needed due to your husband's unilateral decision to divorce. Because that's what it is. Not some antiquated, chauvinistic handout. That's BS men's-rights propaganda. You need it to get back on your feet and back in the workforce, and your kids need it because how else are three of you going to pay rent and eat while you're in school or job hunting!?

What your husband has proposed is unconscionable. I think you must be in shock to even be considering it, but hopefully that will wear off sometime right about...now.[/quote]

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