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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Getting seperated...what is fair?"
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[quote=Anonymous]Thanks everyone. This is very helpful. He is a bit of a control freak, and has anxiety issues. Perhaps, I have excused it a little to much, but I haven't been passive either. Conflict arises when I speak my mind, so I pick my battles. I think he feels a lot of pressure as the bread winner, and believes it entitles him to getting what he wants. While he has helped a lot around the house, I do feel he takes my contributions for granted. While he spends a lot of fun time with the kids, he doesn't help much in the child rearing department. That is not to say I am perfect, but certainly have made no major offenses (affairs or other). I am so depressed that it has to be this way. I don't believe you stay together for kids no matter what, but I certainly think they deserve a better effort than their getting. That is why my hope is that this can be done in a civil manner. I guess he's hoping to keep as much as he can. He wants joint custody, and I am worried he will take back his word on not fighting me on that if I ask for too much. While I totally believe they are better with me, courts make weird decisions all the time. He is under the impression that joint custody is the standard now. Is this true? For kids under 9? I would never break my kids hearts by over limiting his access to them, but it is crucial I have custody. He just isn't equipped for it.[/quote]
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