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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
In your case, it seems far safer and healthier to remain "estranged."  Give up the fantasy of an extended family for your kids because they and you deserve better and dealing with flaky, extended family members who defend your mom is still dysfunctional.

Focus the same kind of energy that you have used to build a good life with your own family and career on creating a family of friends.  :) [/quote]

I agree.  OP, I am in a similar-but-different situation and sometimes question our choice to withdraw (not completely estranged, but at arm's length).  My father's comeback to our "overprotectiveness" is that "you can't protect them from everything."  However, I choose to protect my DD from who I am when I am around those people.  Like you, I have some long-simmering childhood issues which I have fought to overcome.  When I am around my family for any length of time, it all bubbles back to the surface.  Sorry, I'm not going to have her grow up thinking that this is appropriate behavior, and that this is an appropriate family dynamic.

I also agree with the PP's comment about creating a family.  We have great relationships with other people... some are family, some are not.  It does not matter.  they are positive connections for our entire family.[/quote]

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