Reply to People with high performing kids.. how hard do you push your kids academically?

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[quote=Anonymous]I define "push" as nag, pester, threaten, insist, withhold rewards, force.

I do not push any of my four kids. Each one is completely different. One is self-motivated, one is completely lazy, one is sort of lazy, but works for grades and self-esteem, one doesn't work much at all, but doesn't need to.

I've tried pushing, but it failed completely, so I backed off.

I do ask every day about homework, tests, papers. I offer to read papers, to help study for tests. Sometimes my children give me their papers to proofread, and ask me to quiz them on concepts or vocab words, sometimes not.

I've told them that I DO NOT care about grades, but that there are people in the world who do, and these people may hold the keys to the doors my kids will someday want to walk through, so they need to get the very best grades they can so they can get through those doors.

It's quite true that I have no interest in grades, nor do I think grades alone motivate my children, but my kids see that grades can be helpful, so they are doing the work to get the best grades they can.

Don't know if this helps you, OP.

BTW, the very brightest kids are very bright! They are not necessarily the hardest workers, though. But the hardest workers generally get the best grades. I know lots of overachievers who are not super smart, but get good grades. That's why I don't value grades as a measure of intelligence, but they do sometimes correlate with hard work if the child is in a challenging academic environment. [/quote]

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