Reply to Inappropriate? Boundary issue? Staying friends with my brother's ex.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks for all the replies. There doesn't seem to be some clear cut appropriate way to go about this, I guess.

He broke up with her when she received the devastating health diagnosis.

He and I have never been close. But I feel an ethical obligation or sense of family loyalty I guess, that I don't want to be a jerk to my own flesh and blood.

However, I also feel like he shouldn't have that type of control over "my" life.

I'd never discuss him with his ex. Both for ethical reasons and because I was never close to him. I don't really know a lot of detail about him. And I could be wrong, but I don't think she'd even ask about him.

[/quote]

NP: I was already in the camp of "Go ahead and go to dinner" before reading all the responses, but now that I've read other posts and this one from you, 100% absolutely go to dinner and maintain a relationship with her if you want to.  He broke up with her when she was diagnosed, which while being honest and somewhat understandable is still so shitty to do.  And you're not close to him.  AND you still asked him for his ok, and he gave it (even if it wasn't totally genuine).  As long as you don't bring her up to him and you're not talking to her about him, I don't see any harm at all.

And in my heart I think no matter what the situation, if your intentions are good and you are trying to help, it is rarely "wrong" to be friendly and supportive to someone who is really dealing with a difficult situation.  A serious illness is a serious situation and I think lending an ear and some company for dinner is a small thing to do (but a good thing to do!) in this situation.[/quote]

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