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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Does DH not see that his mother is nuts? I see the hurt, but the constant contact is bad form on his part. He shouldn't be apologizing for having a relationship with his dad.

Don't beat yourself up, OP. This would have happened over something else if not this.  See what you can do to get DH some help, therapy I mean, to deal with how crazy his family is.[/quote]

OP here.  My husband isn't interested in therapy. He acknowledges that his mother has her faults but says that everyone does, and that hers is this sort of thing--holding grudges, being passive aggressive, always having to "be right," being inflexible, etc.

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MIL is FUCKED UP and has FUCKED up  her kids. Your DH needs to be in intensive therapy or those dysfunctional emotional habits will be passed on to your kids. Seriously, you do not want your kids seeing him model begging for the love and affection of someone who is not capable of giving it. Your poor husband is torturing himself with his mother. 
She is sick, sick, sick. I feel sorry for her, but the damage she is doing must be stopped. Tell your husband that you are going to a family therapist and he is welcome to join you. 
I bet the farm he will go. The sad truth is, he is already programmed to be emotionally manipulated, and if he feels it will cause estrangement in his marital relationship to not go, chances are he will go. I AM NOT SAYING TO THREATEN HIM WITH IT! I am saying he will likely be afraid or your possible anger and upset and will therefore capitulate and go. Either way, you need to go to get tools for dealing with your MIL special brand of crazy.[/quote]

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