Reply to Separation & child abuse- how to address?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would be careful about calling police. Not that it is wrong but police coming to the house at a time when emotions are running high and accusations of child abuse are being made can actually be very traumatizing for young children. It can lead to kids having fears, panic attacks etc that if mommy daddy or the child themselves does anything wrong the police might come and take them away. They have a hard time differentiating between degrees of 'bad behavior'. As in the police took daddy away because he hit me, if I hit younger brother they might come and take me away. Or that because they did something wrong and that is why mommy/daddy were mad at them that they are responsible for what happens.

Different than filing a report after the fact.

Again, not saying it is wrong and in some situations might be the right thing but not necessarily in the best interest of the kids to put them through that solely in the hopes it will bolster your case in court. [/quote]

You don't think dad wrapping his hands around his son's neck is traumatizing? Maybe you've never been abused, but I can assure you it's pretty fucking awful. The kid needs to know someone is willing to help him. [/quote]

I have no idea what wrapping his hands around his neck means. Was he explaining to his son the universal sign for choking, did he have his hands on his collarbones in a non violent way? CPS would definitely investigate if dad choked/strangled or threatened to choke/strangle the child so again, as I wasn't there, I don't know exactly what happened. However it was described didn't raise a flag for CPS. If I walked in to my husband strangling my child, I would be on the phone to 9-1-1 instantly. In this case, it wasn't deemed an emergency and later a therapist called CPS. So as I said, situation specific. However people were advocating that Op call the police any time any incident happens. Given CPS has deemed these incidents to not be abusive and to not warrant investigation and OP feels safe leaving her kids with her husband, neither the police or the judge will be happy with being called as a way of trying to build a case. That can be far more traumatizing to a child. If there is an incident where the father harms or threatens to harm the child, then 9-1-1 should be called to ensure the police comes to investigate the father and the ambulance comes to assess the child.

[/quote]

OP said CPS said it WAS concerning, but that the boy was not in danger now because it happened over a year ago. Read the post maybe before you go defending someone who put their hands around a small child's throat for god's sake. I can't imagine someone doing that once and being normal on the inside, even if it was a year ago. Good luck OP.[/quote]

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