Reply to Selfies. Are they a turn off?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes. Dude sounds like a loser. Is he stupid, vain, lacking any substance, or all of the above?[/quote]

No. He's really intelligent, caring, great to talk to, etc. We get along fine but this selfie/Instagram thing is just so silly and weird to me. We're moving towards more serious talks about living together and I cringe at the strangeness of perhaps asking him, a grown man, to curtail his Instagram habits. [/quote]

Have you just asked him about it?  Tell him that you're curious about why he likes posting so many shirtless pics, and what he gets out of doing it?  In as much of a non-judgemental way as possible (and the way I wrote it probably sounds judgemental, so not that way LOL!).  Maybe if you point out that you're curious because you're SO much the opposite (you hardly ever post pics), but you know it's a big thing, so ask him why he thinks people do it so much?

It'll be a way of letting him know a) you notice, b) you don't get it, and maybe hint at c) it's kind of a turn off for you.  I don't think you need to say it's a turn off, but really if I were in your shoes I'd go even further and point out that given that he's such a great guy (and list all his great attributes), I'm surprised he feels the need to post so many shirtless pics because, before meeting him, I'd assume that only really insecure people do that.  That's what I would say, because it's true, and I'd want him to know that for me, he's so great, there's no need to "advertise" or "remind" everyone how hot he is.  I would also probably ask if part of that is keeping his dating options open, because if I'm in a great relationship and it seems headed for a more serious direction, I really am not focused on whether the rest of the world thinks I'm hot, I just want him to think I'm hot and I don't need to post selfies for him to see that.

The sexiest, most model-quality guy I ever dated is a friend on Facebook and I notice he NEVER EVER EVER posts gratuitous "here's me being hot in the park", "ok now here's me being hot at a restaurant", and "here's me being hot walking the dog" pics.  He's always clothed (even though he has a stunning body), and he's usually in the background because he only posts social pics of good friends or things he sees when travelling.  And never pics of girlfriends, which I find interesting.  To me that is confidence and totally attractive.  On the other hand, the DH of one of my hottest female friends is ALWAYS posting pics of himself at the gym and performing (he's a singer).  I find it a complete turn off and keep wondering how my super-hot friend who is sexy as hell and hardly ever posts sexy pics on FB, how did she end up with someone who needs so much attention?  But as long as it works for them of course, not my business... :)

Whatever you do, let us know how it goes![/quote]

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