Reply to Family member that smokes

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Family member that smokes - coming to visit?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I would very seriously think about the value of the relationships in question: you with your parents, you with your baby, and the baby with the grandparents.

Is the baby's health at serious risk, given the short visit?  The answer might be yes, if the child is medically fragile.  If not, then take measured and appropriate steps to maximize the opportunity for love and caring to flourish, and minimize the potential for health risk to baby.

I would be careful to not be bitchy and manipulative about this, in other words, don't foist the requirement that they quit or be completely smoke-smell free before they can see and hold and fall in love with their grandchild.

Although I don't have a chain-smoker in my immediately family, my very good friend did.  Her parents always smoked outside of the house, and they were clear that they didn't want their kids to start smoking.  They were hard-core addicts and did not seem to be able to quit.  Neither child smokes or ever did smoke.  One parent died of something that might well have been exacerbated by smoking.  The other parent cut back on smoking, but still has not been able to completely stop.

The grandchild comes by regularly, and even stays with the grandparent who does all smoking outside when grandchild is not around.  The grandchild has learned to say "Smoking is bad for you, please stop!" and the grandparent agrees: "Yes, you should never start smoking, because it can hurt you inside and it can be hard to stop. I never want you to start smoking."

Smoking, however, does not define their relationships. They are a very tight-knit and loving family.  I don't think either adult child would eliminate the grandparent-grandchild contact on account of the smoking, given that the grandparent does what she can to minimize exposure to the child.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics