Reply to MIL issue, or do I have one?

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[quote=Anonymous]OK, OP.  Here is your real problem.  The family into which you married has a huge chunk of their identity tied up in the language and culture you do not share, and this makes you wary.   I think that it would be impossible for you to eradicate this element from their lives, and any gains you would make in this direction (which is unlikely), would produce a lot of stress and hostility in your marriage.

What you need to do, instead of feeling encircled and wary, is to embrace it and see it as an asset and part of your family's cultural heritage.  I'm not saying start taking classes, but maybe become familiar with the culture instead of rejecting it and seeing it as an alien thing.  If you ignore the political BS, Russians have made majestic contributions to the Western civilization in literature, arts, music and sciences. Why don't you try to learn a bit about it and appreciate it, instead of seeing it as a hostile force? This is your DH's heritage.  It will no doubt be a part of your child's heritage. Why would you want to deny this to your child? It is his birthright to know this, to be related to it. Your DH may not even tell you this, but it would hurt him if he sees you reject that part of his heritage.

And relax a little bit about MIL's role in your baby's life.  For chrissakes, you have an educated, loving person offering to help with childcare. Do you know how much you would have to pay for this, if you were out to hire someone like her?  Your child's dominant language will always be English because the environment always wins. Even if grandma insists on speaking Russian to your baby, so what? It will likely be only a small part of his or her life, and an enriching one. Why would you resist that?[/quote]

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