Reply to Does your MIL give your husband a Father's Day gift?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know it's petty, but I do think it's a tad odd for parents to do stuff for their kids for the parents' day holidays.  I found it particularly annoying that my MIL emailed both me and MY MOTHER on mother's day, before DH/I had a chance to acknowledge her.  It feels kind of like when someone, on their own birthday, makes a big deal about how it was your birthday two weeks ago or something.  The only proper response is "um, yeah - thanks, you too!"  And it just seems weird on a day whose purpose is to acknowledge your own mother/father, and arguably your children's mother/father (but mostly when they're too young to do it themselves, I wouldn't expect my mom to do something for my dad for father's day now, for example).

That said, I think the greeting card holidays are insanely overblown and I don't like them in general, and don't want to set a precedent in our family that gifts are required for such holidays even within our immediate family.[/quote]
WTF are you talking about ? The day is to celebrate ALL PARENTS, not just the ones who birthed you. I find it extremely weird that people take umbrage at people wishing them or their parents good wishes on any occassion. Seriously, your in-laws wished you and your MIL Happy Mother's Day and you find this reason to be upset?
Seriously?? We live in a world with so much crap and bad news and this is what you decide to get pissy about? [/quote]

Agree.[/quote]

I don't spend any time or energy getting pissed about it, no - but if specifically asked my opinion, this is what it is.  [/quote]

And furthermore, I don't think your characterization of the holiday is accurate - I think it's to celebrate your own parents and to the extent it has grown to be more than that, it's ridic.  Should I buy all my friends mother's day cards too?  [/quote]
What is ridiculous about it? No one is forcing you to send cards to anyone. Sometimes I forget to send my own mother a card, but to say you SHOULD only wish your own mom Happy Mother's Day (like it is a freaking law) -- yea -- well that is ASININE.

Mother's Day is a celebration honoring one's own mother, as well as motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers in society. It is celebrated on various days in many parts of the world, most commonly in the months of March or May. It complements similar celebrations honoring family members, such as Father's Day and Siblings Day.

The celebration of Mother's Day began in the United States in the early 20th century; it is not related to the many celebrations of mothers and motherhood that have occurred throughout the world over thousands of years, such as the Greek cult to Cybele, the Roman festival of Hilaria, or the Christian Mothering Sunday celebration (originally a celebration of the mother church, not motherhood).[1][2][3][4] Despite this, in some countries Mother's Day has become synonymous with these older traditions.[5][/quote]

I don't see this as really relevant - I just don't think that any of this warrants your own mother giving you a present on mother's day because you are yourself a mother, to me that takes away from your celebrating her.

But everyone celebrates holidays differently - I would just prefer this not be the way it is celebrated in my family.  [/quote]
On a serious note, I honestly and truly do not understand how my mother celebrating and honoring my motherhood takes away from me celebrating her. We all have birthdays, should she not honor mine so as not to take away from honoring hers? How does this work. I guess my question is why it seems some people are having a problem with celebrating either another person or having themselves honored in some way. I get not recognizing made up holidays, that is easy. However, if you do, then how is it you don't understand that The more love you give, the more there is to give. [/quote]

It's just a different approach to things.  My mom sent me a card for my first mother's day this year, I thought that was appropriate.  If she had gotten me some gift of significant expense I would have been put off.  If the mother who is giving to her child for mother's day truly doesn't care what she gets in return and it doesn't create guilt, that's all well and fine.  But quite often, it's not that way.  Birthdays are the perfect example of what I'm talking about.  You don't get someone else a present for your own birthday, but it's fine to get them a present for THEIR birthday.  On Mother's day, it's your mother who should be getting the present (if presents are your thing).  Then your mother can get you something for "son and daughter day" (this exists), if this simply must be reciprocated.  Call me a Scrooge but I find these escalating reciprocal gift fests overwhelming and I'm not on adequate notice of the standard etiquette.  So again, I don't spend time obsessing about this, but when asked my opinion, I do find it annoying.[/quote]

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