Reply to Dealing with a spouse who's gotten very competitive with me about parenting

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, have you talked with him/her about it? And by talking I mean in a calm voice when the child isn't there and where you say things like "I feel undermined and not valued as a parent when you ...."  If so, what does he/she say?

If the answer is that you've tried to, but the conversation turns into an argument or you're dismissed or nothing changes, then the next step is find a good therapist to help navigate through this. It's not an insurmountable problem. But it sounds like you could benefit from a third party to help you both communicate better and to set up some expectations for how you will both respond around baby. [/quote]

I never dealt with this issue. My DH and I decided early on it was US against THEM (our kids). We know they will try and turn us against each other or play us against each other (because we used to do the same when we were kids!).  So we stand united.

You actually RACE to change a dirty diaper? Please come to my house. I'll let you win ALL THE TIME.
My DH will change a diaper if I'm not home or sick, but other than that, if I'm home, it's all mine. (I'm now a SAHM so I don't care.) When I worked, we split it evenly (no we didn't tally up diaper changes, either).

You do have a marriage problem and it will lead to kid problems later on. Talk to your spouse and ask to go to counseling. You could let them win at some things to see if it makes a difference (like diaper changes). I wouldn't let them "win" with discipline issues.[/quote]

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