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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So, did she have some sense when she was 4 that she was "unphotogenic".  What has been said in front of her to make her think this way? I agree with pp - this seems like the tip of a horrible iceberg for her self-esteem. [/quote]

Our other two kids are traditionally gorgeous - strangers in the supermarket stop us to suggest we get them into child modeling. So since she was a little girl she's heard "Oh, your son is going to be SUCH a heartbreaker! Gush, gush gush..." and then they turn to her and say "Your dress is adorable!" or "Your hair looks so cute!" and she's not stupid. Kids judge other kids based on looks. Kids pick up on their parents actions and words. I've had other mothers whisper to each other in front of DD "what do you think happened there?" Her brother and sister are invited to a birthday party almost every weekend. DD has gone to three this year. She's smart, she's sweet and kind, has a great sense of humor, all these fabulous attributes. But as time goes by and she gets made fun of (both directly and in subtle ways) and rejected, she is less and less outgoing. It's heartbreaking. Sometimes her sister will be playing outside with her, a neighbor will play with them, then invite my other girl over to her house and if she says "Can my sister come too?" the neighbor will say no. And this is multiple kids in the neighborhood, not just one kid. [/quote]

What do you say in response to the people who say these things in front of your child?[/quote]

We say thank you and then something like "We think all our children are beautiful" or "We value what's on the inside of all our kids most of all." It's a very delicate balance - we don't want our kids to feel guilty for being good looking or whatever. When parents at school have made comments in front of DD/me I've gone over to them and very quietly said "She's NOT deaf," to shame them into shutting up which DH has pointed out is not the most productive reaction. [/quote]

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