Reply to My husband just revealed to me that his dad is an alcoholic

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband drinks socially. He and his sister are almost too good. I can't begin to imagine what they went through. He is such a wonderful man and partner and a devoted father. I want to be there for him. [b]My husband isn't really into counseling. He doesn't like to talk about negative things in general. He is always positive and upbeat[/b]. It's all making sense to me. The wires thing: my family owns a bar.[/quote]

You realize this is a coping mechanism, right?  I don't doubt your DH is positive and upbeat but what he really is is resilient.  But, this revelation may be the bomb that shatters the walls he's erected.  I know I, and others in this forum, had significant struggles after we had kids of our own. Watching my kids, remembering myself at the same age, imagining my kids having my kid of childhood was very traumatizing - yet I couldn't help myself.  As much as I hated it, I knew I needed to come to some sort of acceptance and I needed help to do it rather than just bury it again.  If your DH is resistant, tell him it's for you, not for him.  That would be true.  You need to understand how his childhood has affected him and how you can ensure your kids don't grow up the same way or fall prey to alcoholism or other self-medicating behaviors.  There's a huge genetic suseptibility but not an inevitability,[/quote]

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