Reply to My husband just revealed to me that his dad is an alcoholic

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[quote=Anonymous]I posted earlier, but wanted to check that. Memory and learning about your father in laws drinking, you have learned a lot about your husband. He has survived trauma and shame, and has come out the other side of it has a good, responsible man. I know you want to work things out quickly and to try to fix this problem. Please, though, give your husband some time. It took me over two years to tell a therapist that my dad was an alcoholic the entire time I was growing up. During the session that I finally told her, I told her that one sentence and then cried for an hour. At the time I told my therapist, I was almost a decade into a successful career, and was happily engaged. Nonetheless, I felt extraordinary shame for quite some time, followed by a relief, finally. Please don't reach your husband, and know how difficult this may be for him. For me, it was an almost instinctual feeling that I had failed to protect a secret I had been raised to protect since before I could even speak. I felt wrong, shamed, and like a failure when I disclosed my dad's addiction. I realize this is wholly irrational, but I am not at all alone in these feelings, I now realize.

I hope you and he are able to work things out. I am sure this will be very difficult. Best wishes.[/quote]

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