Reply to Encourage ex to independently visit DD?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP back with an update...I had a long talk with my therapist about my expectations of my ex, and I was finally able to admit my own disappointment about where he and I are. I didn't need him to take her for weekends, or financially support us, but I realize now that I envisioned us as friends and that he would bond with DD like I did. I've had to let those expectations go, and it feels painful.

Still, in acknowledging that this is where we are, I was able to contact him regarding future plans, and lay out some expectations. I'll no longer be planning every outing. I'll support any reasonable plans with her he'd like to make (and facilitate those plans with equipment like stroller, etc.), and even accompany them to playground (for example) to make sure everyone's settled, but then I'll be on my way. I left the ball in his court and told myself that if he never stepped up, I'd have to accept it. And to my relief, he did.

He plans on taking her to a local playground this month, and when I asked if he'd like to spend some time with her on Father's day, he said yes. This feels like good news.

I realize that the happy friendship I wish I could have with him may never come, and that if that's his choice, I need to respect it. As long as we treat each other kindly in front of DD, that should be enough. I may not have planned the pregnancy, but I did choose to have a relationship with this person, so that's my cross to bear, I suppose. Anyway thanks all for the support.[/quote]

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