Reply to Inviting elderly parent to live next door -- thoughts?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think this could work really well for some families. I think everyone (you, your spouse, your parents, your kids, too) needs to be honest upfront though on what the expectations are for time together and assistance. Things to figure out:
* how many meals are week (or month) do you think you will have together? Who would cook those meals, or pay for them if you go out?
* Will you drive them to all of their doctors appointments, or will they need to make their own arrangements?
* Will you expect them to do any babysitting or pet sitting?
* Will you do their yard work as well as your own? What about house cleaning?
* Will you take them grocery shopping or do the shopping for them?
* Are you free to pop in at any time without an invitation (this goes both ways)?
* How will they develop their own social network? Their old one is 2 hours away.
* How friendly is your neighborhood to walking and wheelchairs? I think this can be a big quality of life item for seniors.
* How would you feel about this if it were your in-laws, not your parents?

These are some of the things that have gone through my head as we are encouraging my MIL to move to DC from GA. I would honestly prefer that she not live next door, or really even within a mile. That might sound mean, but I think we might both go a little batty if we were too close together.[/quote]

also, if you talk to an expert on aging adults, we think we should help (drive to appointment, do the gardening, grocery shop, make food) but it actually take their independence away before they want to or need to and not on their terms. [/quote]

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