Reply to why are things easier without DH?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "why are things easier without DH?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]EVERYONE with little kids feels like this at some point, OP. You have my total sympathy.

Suggestions:

1) Stop arguing. Just shut up already.

2) Stop trying to run the show. Recognize that some of this is YOUR CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR and let it go. Everything doesn't have to be done your way, and your way is not always the perfect way.

No, in the long run, it would not be easier without your DH around. Separating would create a whole new set of problems you haven't even thought of yet.

You really do have my sympathy. The little kid years are hard, hard, hard. I promise it gets easier.[/quote]

Thanks, PP.  You are right on #2.  Part of the issue is he doesn't do anything without me specifically telling him what to do.  I was working on a project with the older one last night and told DH the younger one needed to be in bed at 6:30.  Well, 6:30 rolled around and the little one was no where close to being in bed and thus up until 8pm and up this morning at 5am (not good for a 1 year old).  He was still up at 6:30 because I didn't specifically tell DH to get him out of the tub, dried off, in jammies, etc.  He also would just sit around all weekend and not think about lunch or snacks or going out of the house - I have to plan every outing or we would never leave on the weekends.  He leaves crap everywhere.  It's like he thinks the whole house is his closet.  He gets out his toolbox and leaves it sitting in the same place for a MONTH even with gentle reminders to put it away.  These are just little examples.

And I KNOW things in reality would be harder w/o him, but so many days it just doesn't feel like that :(.[/quote]

The bedtime situation that you describe here is a good example. The next time something like this comes up, perhaps you could try this:

Say that one of you needs to work with DC1 on school work and the other get the baby to bed. He would rather put the baby to bed? Fine; quick reminder that that needs to happen at 6:30. Then, let it go. It's not going to harm the baby if s/he doesn't have a bath every night, and s/he doesn't have to sleep in pajamas. The important thing is to get the child to bed. If he does that by 6:30, that's done. Truly, OP, the other things are details that are not important in the long run.

Regarding the comment about him thinking that the house is his personal closet -- I get this too. But please remember that it is HIS HOUSE as well, and some people just don't care about things being picked up and put away. If this is important to you, then you need to have a conversation about meeting you in the middle on this one. You share the space with your family and you have to come to some sort of mutual agreement, but don't fault him because he doesn't have the same need for tidiness that you do.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics