Reply to My child is so destructive

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If it's broken due to carelessness (not an accident), it is not replaced.
If it's lost it is not replaced
If it's left outside when it should be then it's put on the top shelf in the garage.
If it's broken/lost/mistreated and it's mine then there's a consequence
If it's left dirty or messy then a fun thing is postponed until it's cleaned

If you give in or don't follow through then your teaching your child that being destructive is just fine
 [/quote]

Except none of that works when the child loses their winter coat or boots - you have to replace them!  I agree with the PP who said that there should be consequences beyond just not replacing items that don't need to be replaced (like toys) as well as those that have to be replaced (like uniforms, boots, coats).  [/quote]

To some extent, yes. But a 5 year old is still a child and still needs to be taught. A 5 year old is also quite often with an adult. How is a 5 year old losing boots and a coat so often? My child lost 1 pair of shoes around that age. We attempted to find them, and I replaced them when we couldn't find them. However, after that, when we were in a similar situation, I'd say "do you have everything? Shoes? Swim bag? Water bottle? Did you check the locker you used to make sure it's empty?" and the first several times we actually went back and checked the locker, and did a quick check of the swim bag to make sure everything was in it. After I helped her build the habit of checking, I stopped reminding her every time and just did so every few times. And slowly I didn't remind her at all.

If she had lost a coat and boots, I'd have done the same thing. When picking her up from a friend's house or school, teach her how to create a mental check list that she can go through to make sure she's taking home everything that she brought with her. Teaching her to put things in the same place, every time, so that they're easier to keep track of.

If a child's hard on her toys, she's hard on her toys - sometimes children's play is physical; as long as she's not being purposefully destructive I wouldn't worry about it much. If she's hard on electronics, you establish rules like only allowing her to play with the electronics while she's sitting on the coach. If she's losing her clothing you help her develop habits so that she's not losing her clothing.[/quote]

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