Reply to Really? She gets to be pregnant?

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Reply to "Really? She gets to be pregnant?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I understand where both the OP and the disagreeing PPs are coming from.  We have all been in a raw and sad place from TTCing with no luck.  We have all felt, as one PP said, those mean-spirited feelings, that jealousy, that frustration that we cannot immediately achieve what we want.  I've felt that way, and a friend who knows me well analyzed me pretty accurately, saying that when you are "Type A", you are used to putting in effort and achieving great results.  You do it at school, you do it at work.  When encountering something like trying to get pregnant, it can produce almost debilitating feelings of frustration and inadequacy because we are not used to regular failure.  And now we get it monthly!  All that said, I also agree wholeheartedly with the other PPs who emphasize the ups and downs of life and the frank unfairness of the world around us.  What happens to us in this respect is completely unconnected to what happens to others.  Pregnancy is not like a seat on the bus - just because someone else takes a baby doesn't mean the world's supply is now "down one" and that your chances have decreased.  People make decisions, some win, some lose - I love the previous PPs comment that everyone struggles, because it is true.  Everyone has their own challenges and we shouldn't presume to understand them because we are having our own struggles (though I also know judging each other is part of human nature).

I was a wreck for the first x months of TTCing.  I'm now settling in for the long haul and starting to work on my mental state as the months come and go.  The latest post on Beyond the Egg Timer really resonates with me, as does other info on managing your expectations and remaining happy and fulfilled in your life even as you are experiencing these monthly disappointments.  http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/beyond-the-egg-timer/201405/managing-your-mind-while-waiting-or-the-baby
Life is short, and to be appreciated even with all its prickles and stings.  I know I sound like I'm about to break into kumbaya.  I've just been there with the feelings of resentment, hopelessness, desperation - and while I still feel all those things, I am not spending my life in misery - I just refuse.[/quote]

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