Reply to Has anyone gotten their spouse to relax a little about spending?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]First let me say that I am a saver and a big believer of living within/below your means.

That being said, my DH is reluctant to spend money on anything that isn't broken beyond repair.

Here are the basic facts:

HHI is roughly 250k, depending on bonus amounts
No car payments (paid cash)
Just bought a $660k house with 30% down that we plan to stay in a long time
Kids in public schools
401ks/IRAs maxed out every year
College funds on track
6-9 month "emergency fund"
Pay off credit card every month
No house leaner or lawn service
Also rent out our old townhouse that clears a few hundred a month (plus we are paying down principal)

I think we are doing great!! I am really proud of us. But when I say to DH "lets do an update to the powder room" (counter, faucet, light fixture) or lets buy a new family room couch, etc. he gets REALLY stressed out, and acts like I'm out of touch and don't understand the value of money or what we can afford. I know we can pay cash for these items without affecting any of the above.

Can anyone help us find a common ground? He is a great DH, I love him to pieces, but we are both unhappy in this current area. Neither of us is getting what we want.

TIA

[/quote]

So, you married a cheapskate. No, they never change.[/quote]

I disagree with this statement that he's a "cheapskate".  Its not that he's cheap - he has an unhealthy relationship with money and fear of being poor.  Better than the alternative!

Perhaps therapy will help. but he won't change until he fixes his relationship and thinking about money. [/quote]

Doesn't seem like that's it either.  OP said he's fine with spending on cars, vacations and dining out so it sounds like they have different spending priorities.  I do note, however, that they just bought a new house and OP already wants to make changes to it.  Presumably, before deciding to buy the house OP and DH would have discussed what, if any, remodeling they intended on doing.  It's quite possible DH feels that they've already shelled out a lot of money for a house and now OP wants to tack on more expenses.  [/quote]

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