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[quote=Anonymous]When my husband had an affair it ended in divorce after 25 years of marriage. I think the fact that it was an "affair" and not just "one night stands." She was/is a nurse and older than my husband was by nine years. She would go with him when he went on out of town business which was not that often but then  he took a job in another state with the idea of possibly moving there. He came home every two weeks and the weekends he did not come home she flew to where he was for the weekend. This went on for six months while he was away. He ended up coming back to our hometown because he just did not like where  he was and also landed a fabulous job. In addition to all of this, they were seeing each other a couple of times a week. He would go to her house as well as out for lunch and he called her everyday on  his way home from work and would go see her at her work sometimes too. He would bring her coffee at her work and was very thoughtful towards her on special days. We have two kids. A teenager and a younger one who is seven years old. My thing was I could not come up with what he could ever do to gain my trust again. Every time I looked at him the image of him with her was there. I did not feel he  had an "affair." He was in a "relationship." Three years! Come on! In the final analysis, I guess the point where I realized nothing could be worked out was when it really began to "sink in" with me how he was able to come  home from  her house or seeing her anywhere, and act as though nothing was going on. If you ask me that is a  pretty good liar and actor. The Oscar should go to him for a fabulous performance. I would never recommend that a woman work it out with her husband when he has had an ongoing affair for years like that. Not that a one night stand is any better but it is different. We have a teenage daughter. I did not want her thinking this is alright and so she allows her spouse cheat on her and there be no consequences. [/quote]

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