Reply to Three kids under 4 and I think we are headed for divorce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is he a SAHD?[/quote]

OP here.  No.  Not a SAHD.  We both work full time.

Neither of us get enough time to do things we'd like to do.  But he is constantly contradicting himself.  Last weekend I was home with the twins until about 2 both days.  When I asked if I could go for a walk and he said "no" he said his days was just as stressful because he was with our four year old.  Yet today, he claims I got all this time to do what I wanted when I took our four year old to swimming and the grocery store.  So when I'm with the oldest it is "time off" but it isn't when he is.  It is infuriating.  [/quote]

I will tell you that this is not an uncommon conversation between Parents of small children. Nearly every married couple I know has this exact same discussion. When this happens with me and my husband I give in, shut up, and let him have his way. Sometimes. When the time is right I tell him how I feel in vivid detail. Sometimes he gets mad. Sometimes we fight about it. But when I give and give for like a week....the next week is like mine. I know when I can give and when I can take. Sometimes a little bit of little woman-ing goes a long way. Personally, my husband hates the idea of his wife being a little woman and he finds it unattractive. So, eventually he feels bad and comes around. If you try this and it doesn't work and he just is all about himself and feels no guilt once he's had a chance to de-compress.....that's a problem.

Also, my husband allows me to go to a hotel occasionally for a night. By myself, nearby, nothing expensive. I have breakfast in the morning. I come back refreshed. Then I feel guilty and let him do something he wants to do. This goes back and forth. It's not always wonderful, but it works overall.[/quote]

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