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[quote=Anonymous]OP, sending many gentle hugs your way.  You are going through so much, and I have a small inkling of how draining it must be.  I have a DS who has been an incredible challenge since he was a baby, with all sorts of sensory issues, anxiety, anger, adhd; he is defiant on a daily basis, still has frequent meltdowns in 5th grade, and is generally upset and angry about half of the time.  It used to be worse, when he would spit, hit, kick, throw furniture, scream for hours, etc.  Now he is getting better about reigning in that physical anger, but the defiance, the negativity, and the non-cooperation are sometimes so overwhelming I just want to go hide somewhere.   Sometimes it's hard not to feel sorry for yourself, wondering why this lot in life is yours.  I do feel like mental illness/psychological issues are some of the most difficult to deal with as far as special needs are concerned.  Not that it's a contest, but it's hard when there's so little positive feedback, no sweet kisses or happy smiles or moments of kindness to keep you going.  I do have one other neurotypical child who gives that positive feedback on a regular basis, and I am always amazed at how little it takes from him in terms of a hug or bit of silliness to sustain me for hours and to get me through a tough spot.

I hope you hang in there and do see that glimmer of hope.  Try to take some moments for yourself when you can.[/quote]

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